Newsroom

Welcome to the new addition to the site - the Newsroom. We hope you have a lot of fun reading our news snippets.

A bit of a drama at our last meeting of the Comedy Club when a small fire broke out in one of the rooms. This caused a certain amount of panic but was dealt with in an heroic way by our oldest member William. William who suffers from incontinence quickly sized up the situation and put the fire out, the fire brigade were not needed. Well done William.

An American in panto

Our best wishes go to new member Sidney who is an American and still trying to understand the intricacies of the British pantomime. Having read the script for the forth coming panto, Sidney decided he really wanted to play the character of the dame and show the Brits what a Yank could do, (apart from invading foreign countries). Unfortunately he didn't consult any of the club members concerning which are male and female roles. Not understanding the switch in male and female roles he went ahead and had the "operation" as he was desperate to make a good impression. I understand that she will be coming out of hospital in a few weeks' time. Everyone sends their love to Sydney and hope she will audition for principle girl.

Ethel

Congratulations to Ethel who has passed her driving test at the twenty third attempt. Her driving instructor expressed his delight at Ethel's success and said he hoped to be off the tranquillisers soon. To celebrate her new found freedom Ethel drove into Bristol planning a 'shop till you drop' day. All the main car parks were full but she did manage to find a very small kerbside parking place. As Ethel said it was the perfect place to put her reverse parking into practice and she was pleasantly surprised at how little damage she caused to the other cars. When she returned to her car laden with parcels she was overjoyed to find that someone had left a note on her car windscreen complimenting her on her driving, it said "Parking Fine"!

Gambling

Now an exciting development as we launch the Comedy Club's very own online gambling game called "Heads I win Tails you Lose". As it's all new and, as yet, untested I think I should be the guinea pig as first player, so here goes. I'll just spin the roulette wheel and see what I start with ... oh good result ... two sixes ... that makes ... thirteen! So that takes my pink transvestite symbol pass GO, I'll collect my two hundred pounds ... I've landed on a ladder ... up I go to the very top and ... I've come out on the "chance" cards. I'll take the top card ... wow! That gives me five aces ... I think I'll stick at that and call ... BINGO! Let's see if anyone can better that in the next news update!