Newsroom

Welcome to the new addition to the site - the Newsroom. We hope you have a lot of fun reading our news snippets.

Theft

It is with a heavy heart that I have to announce that there has been a theft from the Comedy Club premises.

The toilet seat from the ladies loo has disappeared. This is not only inconvenient but somewhat embarrassing.

The ladies decide, in the best style of Agatha Christie's Miss Marple, to hold their own thorough investigation but at the time of reporting they still have nothing to go on.

Jailbird

What a turn up for the books - a member of the Comedy Club in court.

Charlie appeared before Bristol's Magistrate's Court charged with a public order offence.

We know that bachelor Charlie is totally devoted to his two German Sheppard dogs, in fact we have often joked to him that he's beginning to behave like them.

Last week he was arrested by a lamp post.

The main problem was that he mistook a policeman for a postman and tore his trousers off with his bare teeth.

Charlie pleaded to the judge saying that it was hard to tell them apart when they took their hats off.

The police however were quick to realise the potential of having a dual officer/dog and have put Charlie on an intensive canine training course at the Mounted and Dog section.

If anyone wants to visit him he's in kennel number 9.

Ethel

I'm sure you're all wondering how Ethel is getting on with her driving.

Well, speaking with her the other day, she said she is thoroughly enjoying her little motor, despite the couple of small accidents in which she's been involved.

This hasn't put her off driving but it did sound serious when she said that she had knocked someone down. Fortunately Ethel was driving very slowly and the person wasn't hurt.

I asked her what had happened and why she hadn't seen the pedestrian? She said her attention was distracted because she was waving to the person she had knocked down the week before who was hiding behind a tree.

Do drive carefully Eth!

That's all from the "ferret" for now, off to put my nose where noses shouldn't go.

For previous news stories, click here.